Most people in recovery know HALT, watch out for cravings as they could because you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
Well I’m adding bored!
The specifics of why I am flying isn’t the point, but here I am at Gatwick Airport with too much time to kill. I’ve walked about but all I can see with my selective sight is the bars I used to drink in. In fact when I was last at this very airport terminal just 8 weeks ago I was hanging out in the pub, and when I had enough there I went on to another drinking cafe. All before getting on the flight and having a large gin and tonic topped up with gin brought from Duty Free.
I arrived drunk and carried on by buying miniature bottles of wine at the airport for the journey from the airport to the city centre. I arrived and I thought I was doing a really good job of being sober. I can’t have been.
So sitting in the airport I thought I’d try to ‘snap out’ of this craving state. Not much I can do about the boredom but walk around. So I went for a walk and no, I couldn’t go into either the pub here or the cafe I was in last time. Too hard, too many memories.
So I looked for somewhere to sit for a coffee or calming cup of tea. Forget it. I don’t know why I’m surprised, I guess I never considered it before, but airports really aren’t that great. That’s an odd thing to realise, I have always loved travelling, and never travelled sober come day or night, 7am or midnight, there has always been time, and a reason, to have a few drinks.
Not this time. It’s just a waiting game, no wonder people are bored and no wonder I have craving from hell.
I don’t have a cunning plan beyond going to buy a sweet fizzy soft drink and wait for the gate to come up so I can get there early, something I never do!
So this may be a first, it may be great as a motivator if I get through this part of the journey without booze….but bloody hell it’s boring. Next time I need a better plan.
Bored. Boredom so great I succumbed to sitting in Pret A Manger with a sandwich, Coke and water all for the princely sum of £6.80. I guess that’s cheaper than £25 on 5 pints of Stella and some gin.
It’s neither a quiet or relaxing place to be and I’m really starting to feel jangled. Do they really deliberately make these places so annoying that you won’t linger? That seems cruel to me….
I can feel both my stress levels rise and my tolerance fall
Like I said before, I need a better plan next time. Maybe I’ll just guess the gate and head straight there, at least it will be quieter and if I’m early I’ll have plenty of time to get to the right gate. Also I need to avoid these awful food venues. I’m seriously tempted to take a Diazepam but that’s just going to be me avoiding this situation. So I’ll grin and bear it.
So I’m off the the gate, any gate…must escape!