Well this is new…writing down a list of things I want to do in 2015. Sober. Of course I have thought or written down goals at New Year before. The usual:
- Cut down drinking – an annual favourite…
- No more spirits/shots – as if it would help..
- Always stick to less than 20 units a night – I wish..best intentions and all that
- Do more exercise – to burn off the hangovers
- Go to bed a t night – as opposed to passing out on the sofa/random places
- Eat 3 meals a day – not skip dinner in favour of bottles of wine
- Don’t get drunk before going out – others drank too slowly!
- Go out more – solitary drinking became the norm at the end
This year I have decided to resurrect a list of an entirely different type. If I only achieve number 1 in my list I will be happy. At 8 months sober I have been reading around on how quickly the body and life ‘recover’ and there is no straight or easy answer. Months, years…depends. So here is my sober ‘to do list’ for 2015:
1. Don’t drink!
That’s it…simple eh. Two words…big statement. I’ve committed to abstinence and not just ‘until I’m better’. Because I’m never going to ‘be better’. I don’t drink like most people do and so never again. I must always remember that. Like last years New Year Eve party. I went to a party in a pub where a friend was playing in a band. I was drunk by midday. If I think about it, drinking excessively was great back then because it was the social norm…the silly season of drinking meant I didn’t have to pretend. If I wanted a drink at midday that was fine. Just ‘getting in the New Year spirit’….
I don’t remember the music. I don’t remember leaving
This year will be different. I still don’t know what I’m doing tonight, but whatever it is, I will be sober.
2. Socialise with others in recovery
This is actually going to be quite hard for me. I have been struggling with social anxiety and this has become harder not drinking. I have been out of course, sober. Sometimes it has gone well, other times it has been disastrous! The lesson I have learnt recently is that I’m more likely to find friends who ‘get me’, in recovery. That said I have to be careful too. I’ve been single for 3 years now and would like a relationship…but not for the wrong reasons. And I know there is a lot of talk about the 13th step…
But I trashed my social life through my drinking and in the 8 months sober it hasn’t really recovered. So I need to do more work here. There are some things on the horizon. I’m really excited about a new cafe that is opening soon….by the fab people at Cascade Creative. They’re opening a Community cafe and informal therapy space. It’s still ‘in progress’ but due to open soon in Baker Street, Brighton
I for one, plan to support it and become a regular. I’m still getting used to sitting in cafes rather than pubs but it is becoming the new normal for me 🙂
And I need to do more than just AA. There are the great people at the Brighton & Hove Community Alcohol Team and they host SMART Recovery meetings on Monday afternoons and Wednesdays early evenings. I plan to get to the Wednesday ones at least when I can, which is sadly too seldom due to work.
3. Run a (half) marathon
Well this one is another biggie! I entered the Brighton Half Marathon and will be doing that in February!!! Training is actually going well although I hate going out in the cold, and it’s hard on my own. But it’s a goal.
So I feel ok about doing a half…it will definitely not be easy and my training is sporadic…but FFS!
This time last year I wouldn’t even have bothered going to watch others running it down the end of my road, let alone actually entering and running it myself 🙂
I have also entered the full Brighton Marathon but that’s another story…and it’s a huge ask for me and my body. I am planning and hoping to do it, but I am also realistic. I work away a lot so training will be intermittent. Either way, I’ll be there either running or supporting…hopefully both!
So that’s my list. Just three things, but if I do those three my life will have moved on so far from the day I first walked into rehab.
It’s been a real journey so far, it’s been hard, it’s been emotional, it’s been different o anything i have ever experienced in my adult life. I can’t say it’s been a wondrous and enlightening time. Some people in recovery seem to get that high, it’s something I hear about a lot in AA. Well good luck to them, but this is my journey and it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Happy safe and sober New Year to you all xxx