This show has moved me more than any programme I have watched in a very long time. So much so I have to speak up, and speak out.
What is written below are some small snippets that struck me deeply, quotes but not verbatim.
I was lonely and desperately unhappy. Alcohol made me feel as if everything was alright
When I’m asked about ‘rock bottoms’…it was years of my life. I was robbed of a life by alcohol that was pretending to be my best and only friend.
“Do you know who I am”? Yes, you’re an alcoholic
I picked up again because I thought I could manage it…. clearly I couldn’t
I get asked a lot “but you’ll be able to have a drink eventually right”?
– I can’t, I will die if I do
– The hardest part is admitting to yourself you may never be able to drink again, ever. That’s it
– It’s much more bearable in your mind to say to yourself I can maybe drink again in moderation, that is less scary than I can never ever have a drink again
Sobriety has been a journey of feeling difficult stuff and not using anything on it
Six months in I thought I might actually end up normal, one day. There’s hope
I felt very strongly that I needed to regain power. I needed to empower myself and I found that running, particularly, has helped me do that
To me it’s not about triggers, that’s too easy; like “my trigger is ‘this’ so I’ll avoid my trigger”. My trigger is being alive
I have a life, and I don’t drink; but the feelings that made me drink are still there so I’ve had to become quite practised at coping with those
My name is Sam. I choose not to drink and I have been in recovery since April 2014
And I’m on Garmin Connect.