This show has moved me more than any programme I have watched in a very long time. So much so I have to speak up, and speak out.

What is written below are some small snippets that struck me deeply, quotes but not verbatim.

I was lonely and desperately unhappy. Alcohol made me feel as if everything was alright

When I’m asked about ‘rock bottoms’…it was years of my life. I was robbed of a life by alcohol that was pretending to be my best and only friend.

“Do you know who I am”?  Yes, you’re an alcoholic

I picked up again because I thought I could manage it…. clearly I couldn’t

I get asked a lot “but you’ll be able to have a drink eventually right”?
 – I can’t, I will die if I do
 – The hardest part is admitting to yourself you may never be able to drink again, ever. That’s it
 – It’s much more bearable in your mind to say to yourself I can maybe drink again in moderation, that is less scary than I can never ever have a drink again

Sobriety has been a journey of feeling difficult stuff and not using anything on it

Six months in I thought I might actually end up normal, one day. There’s hope

I felt very strongly that I needed to regain power. I needed to empower myself and I found that running, particularly, has helped me do that

To me it’s not about triggers, that’s too easy; like “my trigger is ‘this’ so I’ll avoid my trigger”. My trigger is being alive

I have a life, and I don’t drink; but the feelings that made me drink are still there so I’ve had to become quite practised at coping with those

So…

My name is Sam. I choose not to drink and I have been in recovery since April 2014

RunnerSamAnd I’m on Garmin Connect.

 

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