And it came out of the blue from someone who knew me well when I was drinking.

I had spent the day working hard and then as it was sunny I went for a 9 mile run, and then went to the gym…and I was feeling good about myself. I was looking forward to the weekend. I had a quick Skype and then I got this…

None of my business, but I got the impression you were a bit drunk earlier… I thought it was great for you to give up drinking, so I hope you can keep it up for your own sake.

That was last night, it hurt. And it still hurts. Why?

I don’t really know why but it upset me a lot. And I still can’t shake the comment. I suppose it is my confidence or pride? I don’t know.

I have struggled so hard to stay sober and to have someone close from my past comment that I seemed drunk triggered an emotional upset I still can’t explain.

Is it like… “I don’t trust you are not drinking”? I know I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, but I want others who have been affected by my drinking to also feel that I am a different person now. To be accused of seeming a bit drunk undermines that sense that I have shown people I have moved on.

The only good thing is that it has not triggered a “fuck you” feeling that if I seem drunk, then why not get drunk. I am pleased about that, although it did cross my mind.

No, I am just hurt that what has been a long struggle, and just when I thought I was in a good place where drinking was no longer in my life at all…one comment can destabilise that confidence and positive feeling of being a better person.

I will move on…I am just reflecting that it hurt a lot…

Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine. – Charlotte Eriksson

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