December is party month, and that can be hard. All those work dos, friends meeting up after long time apart, all that excess.

I remember going to a party in the early days and emptying a beer can out and filling it with water so I could wander around looking life I was drinking. I look back at that and wonder why I felt so strongly about not wanting others to know …

I know really. I didn’t want to stand out from the crowd…

I didn’t want to have to explain…

I didn’t want to share with people who probably wouldn’t understand…

And it was shame. I just didn’t want anyone to notice I wasn’t drinking and ask why. It felt like such a big deal and I was convinced that everyone would notice even whilst I was carrying out my subterfuge with the water in the beer can.

The truth is now I know. No one really cares that much about what anyone else is doing or why!

It’s a good trick to have up your sleeve but really, be brave, people generally don’t ask, but if they do just say as little as possible. I started saying “I’m having a night off” and moved the conversation onto something else. I was amazed that what I considered such a major issue for me was just not noticed by others.

 

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